Late to be Diagnosed?
You are not Alone
Even though I was born autistic I always knew I was different.
I just did not think the same way as my peers and I was labelled the naughty child in Primary school because I was unable to socially integrate and was often misunderstood.
As a result I was sat by myself a lot and my mum kind of got a raw deal when picking me up.
High School was easier. I now think this was because in High School you get a timetable and so can prepare for your day in advance. Teachers were engaging however, I was bullied a lot. Despite this I only missed 3.5 days of school in 5 years. Teachers knew how to get the best out of me however, I got on better with the male teachers than female ones.
I was also very good at sport and because of this I won over some peers that would stand up to bullies for me. I had a successful High School Career but I would not do it again.
In my 20s after University I really struggled to get a job because a recession happened in 2009. It meant staying in my college job for longer than I would have liked. I made the most of it though and got promoted until I found an office job.
It was in the office job I struggled further. I could not navigate office politics and I really struggled with people eating at their desk or typing too loudly. It was just really difficult.
I went to the doctor who diagnosed depression as the cause and I went for therapy and was put on antidepressants.
I told the therapist I just didn't think the same as everyone else and didn't fit in and she said 'it is good to be different'
I lasted 2.5 years in that job and moved to another job. Same industry but different skillset. Initially it was ok. The team was smaller and I was well respected but I still struggled with some colleagues. There was a lot of banter and jokes I just did not understand.
When I suffered my first massive loss in 2018 I just couldn't process it at all. It still affects me to this day. It affected every aspect of my life to the point I couldn't mask at work and at the time a collegue sent an online Autism Test. I did it and scored high.
I knew I needed to pursue it and from then on I did and it took a lot of persistence but 15 months later and after filling out a detailed questionnaire about my entire life. I was diagnosed.
I was happy and relieved but there is no support really for adults especially working adults.
So I turned to instagram initially creating an account and following other autistic people and I am now a completely different person. Creating a website with the content I hope will help others.